Nefarious Reviews 21 – The Monster Squad

When 30-something year old’s are asked to name some of their favorite lesser-known, non-blockbuster flicks from the 80’s, nine times out of ten the movie Goonies will be thrown somewhere in the mix. With good reason, Goonies is a classic. However, Goonies appealed to a broad range of individuals, many of which had never even heard of the horror-themed equivalent, The Monster Squad. If you ask a die-hard horror flick fan about it they may even argue that The Monster Squad is far superior to Goonies on many levels. I’m not here to throw weight one way or another in the underground debate between the two. These films don’t need to be cheapened by turning them into a fan-boy/fan-girl feud equipped with t-shirts emblazoned with “Team Goonies”, or “Team Monster Squad”. I’m here to throw a spotlight on a film that, in my opinion, should be regarded as a timeless classic.

The Monster Squad is a tale about Sean Crenshaw (Andre Gower), and his pre-teen club of monster enthusiasts that include Patrick (Robby Kiger) Sean’s right-hand man…or, boy, Horace (Brent Chalum) the groups husky cowardly lion, Rudy (Ryan Lambert) the squad’s own cigarette smoking Fonzie, and little Eugene (Michael Faustino. Yep, Bud Bundy of Married With Children fame). The squad occupies their time debating methods of killing monsters, comic books, and horror movies. That is, until Sean’s little sister, Phoebe (Ashley Bank) is given the antiquated diary of the legendary Abraham Van Helsing (Jack Gwillim), which tells of a magical amulet that is sought by none other than Count Dracula (Duncan Regehr) who with the help of his monstrous cohorts, Frankenstein’s monster, the Mummy, the Wolfman, and Gill-man, intends on destroying the amulet to upset the balance between good and evil.

The Monster Squad is a 1987 recipe for success. So much so that writer/director J.J. Abrams and legendary producer Steven Spielberg used the same recipe when creating their 2011 blockbuster Super 8. When the movie Goonies was made in 1985, two years before The Monster Squad, it was cooked with the same ingredients as well. One of the many common traits between all three films is the fact that people love to watch this formula unfold on the silver screen. For me, what separates The Monster Squad from the traditional cookbook is the usage of classic horror movie icons. Add the fact that the creature effects were done by Stan Winston Studios and you end up with an exquisite gourmet production that has the ability to satiate even the most high-brow of critics. Whether you are trying to get in the mood for the Halloween season or you just want to devour something entertaining and visually stimulating, I would recommend The Monster Squad any day of the week.

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Nefarious Reviews 19 – Waxwork

I love the usage of the word “over” as a prefix. Overran, overview, overheard, and the list goes on and on. If I had to sum up the 1988 classic, Waxwork, in one word, overacted comes to mind without overreaching. In live theater, overacting is an age-old technique used by thespians to communicate emotion to the masses that are seated 30, 40, even 50 yards from the stage. It make sense. However, when a camera is stationed at arm’s length from an actor, overacting is something akin to a close-talker standing almost nose-to-nose with you while you inhale what they had for lunch as they flap their Burger King stained gums. But much like in the open-air amphitheaters of old, when done in the right place with the right atmosphere, overacting can be a performance one can overindulge in. Such is the case in this waxy work of art.

Waxwork begins with Zach Galligan (Mark Loftmore of Gremlins fame), an uncharacteristically wealthy suburbanite college student with a penchant for nicotine and tobacco. Marks biggest worries include Mummy-dearest not allowing him to slug down coffee in the morning, a Gestapo-like World History professor, and the douche bag Quarterback his former girlfriend, China (Michelle Johnson), is currently banging. It all seems like a a borrowed book from a day-time TV soap opera, that is, until a strange waxwork museum manifests itself smack-dab in the middle of Zach’s picture perfect suburbia. The mysterious waxwork curator, David Lincoln (Time Bandits), pictured above as Willy Wonka’s illegitimate brother, entices China and the lovably overlooked Sarah (Deborah Foreman) to a private showing of his macabre wax statues on the condition that they bring their friends along. The waxwork itself turns out to be a giant homage to iconic horror story villains with an unrivaled life-like quality about each scene depicted. When the first of Zach’s friends is transported inside of one of the scenes to face the horror within it, this candelabra of a story melts into a gory mash-up of just about every noteworthy creeper and creature that could possibly be crammed into a 95 minute movie.

Waxwork is expertly sculpted with a delicate hand of humor and horror. As with many films of that era, the dialogue and delivery can be a bit over the top for some, but a welcomed trip down memory lane for others. A good helping of the special effects and monster makeup are incredible for the sheer fact of how labor intensive it must have been to create, even if the werewolf’s ears did look like a raggedly retarded bunny rabbit. As overzealous as it may seem to try to include every overgrown monster ever created, Waxwork almost overloads our eyeballs with everything we hold dear in this genre in one sitting.

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